Saturday, December 3, 2011

There, There

First, I'm going to stop you before you start wondering why I'm hanging out in a cemetery...
A beautiful cemetery...
My husband died 9 months ago today.  I told myself I wouldn't let my grief come into this blog (that's what the other one is for).  Part of the reason why I started this blog was to have a different type of creative outlet.  But I guess it's only natural that they might come together at times, seeing as how they're both supposed to be a way to express my feelings, good and bad.  So, I went to spend some time with him today.
My love
And, as part of my new thing, I'd brought along my supplies: my camera, lone pencil, and my sketch pad.  After sitting quietly with him for quite some time, I noticed that the chapel behind me was casting a very fun shadow that made it look like an alien spaceship landing right over his grave.
we come in peace
Inspired by this, I pulled out my sketch pad.  It was actually to rip out a picture I drew the other day (that I didn't post) and find a way to stake it down onto the grave for him.  I didn't want to use my only pencil to do this (in case I needed it later), and realizing it was just going to rain again on Tuesday, I decided to skip this desperate attempt to give him something of myself.  Even after I scrapped the idea, I flipped open the sketch pad in my lap and held it up to start leafing through it to look at the one I would have given him.  When I landed on an empty page, my shadow cast onto the blank paper and gave me an idea... why not trace my outline?  Even if one side didn't match the other once the sun had shifted.  I came up with this- and filled in some of the space
"Shadows at the Cemetery"
Successfully creeping myself out at what I managed on paper, I promptly sought out peace in looking at my favorite feature at the cemetery; the sweet little red shed, and just beyond, the adorable blue house I want to live in some day.
red shed, blue house
Ready for a change of scenery, I bid farewell to my love and had to be patient while trying to leave the grounds.  Two little old ladies had parked right in the middle of the road leading to the gates, and I had to wait for them (one with cane in hand) to make their way to back to the car in order to move it.  I couldn't help but imagine myself as an old lady in that very cemetery, keeping him alive with me the only way possible.

It's funny how I go from one silent location to another.  I seek it out now.  My husband used to tell me that if I were quiet for longer than 3 minutes that something must be wrong inside my head.  Not anymore.  It's the best time that I have these days, in quiet solitude.  Side note: I love state parks.  They're the greatest.  And very quiet this time of year.  I took myself to another one today to catch the sunsets over the mountains.
sunset and water= favs
it called me closer

But damn, it was cold again today.  Which didn't make it too hard to say goodbye to nature and head back to civilization (and my car heater).
Nature, meet Civilization.  Civilization, Nature.
The ride back proved eventful.  It consisted of my wandering attention, calling for ooh's and ahh's over my right shoulder.  Oh, sunsets, I have no power over your beauty.  Thus began several series of u-turns of the illegal variety in order to capture this excitement in the sky.  I'd say it was worth it...

And my absolute hands down favorite...

There's nothing like natures beauty to kick sadness in the ass, even if it is just for a moment.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Mountain Mama

I took a nice long ride today.  I went to my favorite spot for quiet time; Gambrill State Park.
Me and my Docs in Gambrill

It was a nice sunny day, but was also very brisk.  I loved it.  My favorite place to sit is now closed for the winter (boo!) so I found an equally peaceful nook to park my red boat.
Secluded quiet spot.  Only three cars passed me in two hours.
I popped on some Radiohead (Is there anything else to listen to?  Um, no.  Radiohead is the jam.  RADIOHEAD!)  I whipped out my sketch pad that I'd brought with me in a super cute new "green" tote bag (which I earned by bringing other not-so-cute reusable bags with me to the grocery).  Instead of spending two hours on another tree, I decided to let the music guide my hand.
"Like Spinning Plates"
I had a lot of fun with this one.  I started with little dots and spiraled out from them.  I love how the one just to the right of center looks like a uterus.  I did not do that on purpose, but it's my favorite loop.  Check out the song I was listening to here
"Bullet Proof (I Wish I Was)"
This started off with just one bulletish blob, and ended with a ton of them.  I have to say that when I began, I wasn't thrilled.  But the more I drew, the happier I was.  It's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.  I used permanent markers, which was a lot more fun than I expected.  The colors are stronger, and my sketch pad is resilient.  No bleeding (well, except for the wound I drew on purpose).  For your listening pleasure listen to Bullet Proof here  I was so proud of this one that I wanted to quit while I was ahead.  So with a fond farewell, I left my secret spot to find a new adventure.
I decided to turn right out of the park instead of left to head home.  This took me down a relatively empty road.  As luck would have it, I stumbled upon a power hub and was able to snap a shot of it.

I've always been obsessed with power lines and telephone lines.  It's kind of mind blowing when you try to imagine where they lead and what's traveling within them.  But I digress.  In my haste to get close to it, I realized that I couldn't back out of the space I'd turned in to.  I had no choice but to keep moving.  This was not so bad because the gravel road lead past this nice little overflow of water.
I especially enjoy the reflection of a big, bare tree a few feet away from me.
As I follow the gravel road, riddled with water filled pot hole dips, I realize that it's leading me directly into an abandoned/closed fun park (YIPPEE!!!)
There are all sorts of funny things about this "fun park".  Like the lion atop this snack bar...
Or the winnie parked right under the pavilion...
Home sweet Home
Or Granny's Scrap Yard right by the 18th hole in mini golf.
Shut that gate behind you!  Um... huh?
Closed for the winter, the attractions seemed so lonely.  Water balloon fighting stands, mini golf, a driving range, a choo choo train, and several go kart tracks sat uninspired.  I could have ridden on this track if I wanted to, seeing as how I was sober.
So I went walking around like I owned the joint, checking out all of the features...
Water Balloon Fight stand
The most boring ride in town.
After I was satisfied with my explorations, I parked it on a bench so I could snap another shot of my rad shoes.  They're Docs.  And with my knee high socks, I felt like I was in high school all over again.  Which was also very rad.
so rad
Thoroughly cold and ready for something to warm me up, I walked at a steady clip back to the car.  Which looked so pitiful in all of that open space...
Le Sigh
Lucky for me, there was a Sheetz over the next hill and I promptly purchased a cup of coffee with french vanilla creamer.
Despite being called "french vanilla" it tasted suspiciously like marshmallow fluff.